I've never been skeptical, nor suspicious about anything. In fact I tend to view life as it comes and not over analyze why you are dealt the cards you get. I believe it comes from my understanding of myself and what God has instilled in me as His creation. Faith in believing. Believing in the word of God. I believe in myself, my abilities and limits. You won't find me seeking out multiple ways to reap "good luck" rewards, so my deck is stacked for the best hand. I can't even imagine what it would be like to constantly rely on a 1 in a million strategy to life. You won't find me using one particular pair of socks I run a race in, or certain named golf balls that "give" me an edge to my golf game. Certainly there is no truth in the success of disciplining my children, equally, and getting the same result. I can't imagine ONLY using one kind of detergent to wash my clothes in and calling that "The Gospel according to Tide". Therefore I can't imagine gambling on a game of uncertainties that lead to so much disappointment. Zero desire. So Vegas is out for me!
Growing up in high school, I remember when as a young, seeking, and discovering individual, many of my friends were in to crystals, Ouija boards, Tarot cards and horoscopes. I dabbled in the horoscopes, but found them to be so general and limited in their advice and direction. I could not fathom how "the board" could have the power to direct messages to me, much less that someone could understand or relate to. Seems a bit cookoo to me. The whole thing with crystals and seance's were rather stretching in my mind. And rightfully so, here is where I was skeptical. Calling up the dead, by holding hands in a circle with a bunch of candles and the lights turned out. I'm sorry, I just don't get it. My direction kept going back to what I had initially been taught. God's word. Simple, straightforward, direction and guidance to my life. No doubt it's simplicity is what I was attracted to. The other aspect of this seems to be reflective in the lack of fear, simplicity in it's rawest form. I believe, however, that there are spiritual, heavenly beings in an all out war, as I write. I do not doubt for a minute that Satan or the Devil, is at the forefront of these battles. I have experienced them many times in my life. I can recall fearful moments in my late teens, early 20's, that gripped me at times. I've had moments in my late 20's and 30's that will forever remind me of what I do not want to become. But most of my fear was introduced by dramatic representations, like a movie. I still found that it was not in my realm of understanding to succumb to this fear. Punch thru and keep seeking for the truth and understanding of it all.
Jump to modern day and I can give you various instances of skepticism, limited, but real and overcoming. God continues to put individuals in my life that challenge me daily with this aspect of life. My husband, my best friend, coworkers, even mere acquaintances. Each of these examples, drive me to seek real truth and knowledge of what I know. I mean, they literally challenge me to discover ways to prove that their fear is gripping them and holding them back from living life.Who do I put my trust in to understand this challenge? My automatic response is, God. My first example, is and always has been, my biggest challenge to date. So much invested, and yet the truth seems to be screaming in my face. Lack of trust. Now, what do you do with that one? It ruins any relationship you have and creates torment and destruction. Is it rebuildable? I mean, let me be a devils advocate for a moment. You built a wall, so now it can be torn down at any moment, right? But, what if for times sake, you don't have the tools to do this, then what is your solution? What if the tools you have for the job, create even more barriers and obstacles to an already simple solution? In a sense, to muck it up!
One aspect of trust that I contemplate, is how can you build trust on a foundation that has been uneven, battered and eroding for many years? No matter what resources you have, you must always have a firm foundation to establish that trust in. Suspicion, skepticism, fear, and doubt, give you a life full of empty promises. Over and over, your expectations of what the "outcome" may be, all positive and self gratifying, ironically, become the mastermind behind your drive. A dreamer of a different kind. A dream of unrealistic expectations. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy dreaming. You know, like what would I do with the millions I would win from the lottery. Where would I disperse it? Who would benefit from my lucky moment? Would that drive me to want more? Oh and then I would ONLY frequent the gas station I purchased my winning ticket from, wearing the same clothes each time I purchased a ticket, at the same time each day, using the SAME numbers and oh how much gas was in my tank at that time? Before I know it, my luck has driven my life to a point of craziness and sheer chaos. Luck or coincidence? AGH, It's maddening trying to keep all of it straight. "The truth will set you free", That's plain and simple. No dabbling in scenarios of grandiosity. Just believing the truth.
