Saturday, January 29, 2011

Dancing with opposition

My mind is a bit scattered today. My youngest, Grey, had his preschool conference today. Unfortunately I was unable to attend, due to recent surgeries I've had and another sick child. So I wait at home anticipating my husband's phone call with the lurking good or bad news that may be presented. Of course, like usual, the teacher starts out with all the positives, to boost you up and make you feel like you have the sweetest kid in the world, blah, blah, blah. Then, the realness of why you have these conferences comes out. So he's showing signs of defiance and stubbornness. (Great!) In his case, this rears it's ugly head when they are learning how to do their letters or working on cutting projects. The mindset of not knowing how to do something when told, even though you've done it repeatedly, baffles me. I see it as a form of manipulation and and unwillingness to want to learn. I don't think I'm biased when I say they are smarter than that excuse. Maybe it's a boy thing, or a middle child or in this case, youngest child thing. Not really sure that's a valid reason for the behavior and I still ask "will you try it or won't you?".

I've struggled with my middle child, Briggs and his short fused temper for some time. I'm constantly teaching and showing him ways to manage his anger, frustration and disappointment in every day tasks. He's a bit more dramatic and tends to over exaggerate the situation to his benefit. He needs more of that one on one pep talk type love. He can quickly spiral into a tailspin of negative emotions, that I have no compassion for. That wallowing in self pity and regret gets under my skin. I don't recall that opposition has ever stopped me from pursuing my dreams, goals or following thru with my ideas. I've always found a way to make it happen-even if it took me much longer than I expected. I can say that I have found many excuses to avoid facing the inevitable, merely to keep from being disappointed. That's a natural behavioral response, but is it a way to enable or encourage our fear of failure?

These days, my encounters with opposition come in the form of defiant behavior from my kids, or disagreements with my husband on various issues to social and moral issues with family and friends. I seek to discover what the difference is between opposition and disagreement and if there is any real difference between the two. Some may argue that they are one in the same, while others could provide multiple facets to the two that clearly define them as different. Tomato, Tomatoe? In trying to seek a solid answer to my question, I will spend time writing or searching the Bible for words or verses that speak to me. Many times in my pursuit of these answers I turn to worship songs and many express EXACTLY how I'm feeling. I feel lifted up and "spoken to" when I read or hear those words. I want to be open to whatever God might be saying to me-in any form. Those moments seem to be so precious and fleeting at times. I do a self check to see if my mind is clear from outside influences so as not to mask what I am hearing. I'm often jerked back to reality when I encounter a situation of doubt. Did I hear that person correctly? Did I somehow mix up the message? Did I express mine or my children's needs clearly? AGH! It's maddening!

Satan knows these are our weaknesses and uses them to his benefit. I know I have agreed with the lies he tells me, because I have fallen into his trap more times than not. For me, this also affects my mental capacity. I just get to a point and say "STOP!" The dance of opposition is actually one that many of us choose to partner with. Many times it will start out as a slow Viennese Waltz, then quickly turn into a sultry Tango or Paso Doble with it's sharp, precise movements. Throw in a few Cha Cha's or a Fox Trot to turn up the volume and our crescendo comes by ending the dance with our hand proudly in the air or gently bowing to the floor.  How do you dance with opposition? Will you partner with God as He bends, turns and leads you around the dance floor of life?

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